Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
