I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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