Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize