Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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