Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
