Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
