yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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