He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
