I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i need some magic done to my vagina
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
