If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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