Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
