Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
MIDGETS
????
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
