my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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