Nicole vs. Life
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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