we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
