Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
