Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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