Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
