She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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