I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
