sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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