Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
