i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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