My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it's like heaven, but drunker
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
