I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
