God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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