one might say we're banned from that church
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
