Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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