OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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