Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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