So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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