Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize