Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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