I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize