i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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