you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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