Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize