why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
