my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
