I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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