I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
