the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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