Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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