I puked a lego.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
