Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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