he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
