i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I touched a dick in church today
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
