Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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