So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
