Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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