do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
