we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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