her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
