thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
