if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You made out with two different species that night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
