Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You don't make any sense
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