Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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