I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
