I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
