If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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