something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
