I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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