did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize