yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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