Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
