Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
