you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
