fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
