If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize