Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
