Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
