just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
