I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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