piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
