I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize