I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
