I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
